


My Cup...

by Val_Creative



Series: 30 Days of LGBT+ Pride Month 2019 [30]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Aromantic, During Canon, Everyone Needs A Hug, Feelings, Friendship/Love, Introspection, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Protective Merlin, Requited Unrequited Love, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/pseuds/Val_Creative
Summary: When Merlin smiled, it was as ifspringhad came early to his features. How young he looked. How his cheeks dimpled.





	My Cup...

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU ARE FROM "THE CATALYST" HI ALSO I'VE GOT TIME IN JULY FOR A NEW CHAPTER. I SWEAR TO YOU. Merthur is timeless. No really. Always. If you enjoyed reading this, I would love to hear any comment/thought you had!
> 
> (Also are you LGBT+ too? How are you celebrating Pride Month this year?)

*

It's quiet enough in his chambers to hear the faintest sound of Merlin's nails catching to the royal sheets.

To hear his manservant turn them down and to hear a small intake of breath.

 _Just think on it a moment, will you_ , Merlin advises him. His voice soft as a passing breeze. _Everything we've build together._

Arthur can no longer hear the sheets, but he has no doubt Merlin has taken to staring at the back of Arthur's head. With that wide-eyed and studious expression. A look Arthur isn't sure in how it managed to creep along and steal away those brilliant smiles.

When Merlin smiled, it was as if spring had came early to his features. How young he looked. How gladsome and how his cheeks dimpled.

And now it seemed winter meant to stay, graying the light from Merlin's face.

How solemn. How the dark shadows now suited someone like Merlin.

As if they weighed him with some terrible struggle unspoken and unacknowledged and Arthur would be damned if he would continue to bear another endless season of this. When he could imagine so much more — red berries in wine, golden sunlight dancing in Merlin's locks and against the rim of their chalices, the odour of dirt and meadowflowers, the dip of Merlin's throat and slide of his tongue to Arthur's mouth and his bollocks, kissing Merlin's warm skin, Merlin, _Merlin_ , and —

_You can go now, Merlin._

A huff of a snort comes, but he expects Merlin nodding his head dutifully before turning away. Arthur can't know for certain.

Not still in his chair. Not with his head bowed towards his lap.

 _Merlin_ , he calls back. More of a mutter really. Merlin's hand falls into view, resting silently to the top rail of the chair. This is not love. Arthur cannot feel it for him. He cannot feel it for Gwen, or for any princess arranged to marriage. King Uther doesn't expect Arthur to love. He only expects his sole heir to impregnate a wife, and to rule as Uther wanted Arthur to rule. By fear, by power-lust and strategy.

Arthur fears _himself_ at times. That it isn't normal. That he's unable to carry the emotions Arthur needs to find happiness or a formal match.

It's neither spring or winter when he traps Merlin's lips to his. Arthur's fingers curling to the downy hairs sticking out from a red scarf.

*

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to 30 Days of NSFW but LGBT+ Pride edition where every single day is a LGBT+ identity that a character embodies or a relationship does that is the focus/perspective of the story canonly or fanonly. And of course today is [Day 30](https://demi-romantics.tumblr.com/post/185064517303/hello-lovelies-of-the-internetz-pride-month-2019) which is " **Aromantic** " and I was interested in trying it out for Arthur. In his own way. Also doing [30 Day OTP Porn Challenge](https://chasingriversong.tumblr.com/post/39525363882/30-day-otp-porn-challenge) this is also Day 30 which is "climax" & this is a [prompt table](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/324470348128912730/) I'm using for June.


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